In case you’re wondering, they did have clothes to change into. I did tell them they would be overdressed in Liverpool, especially once the Liver Birds had got hold of their flimsy outfits.

The biggest problem was trying to tell the BBC that there is a mistake. The small print tells you to use ‘Contact Us’ but that takes you to several pages and no direct email address for that page. I sent the form off thirty minutes ago and still no reply.

Why waste billions of £s laying miles of tram lines when all you need is a few metres! This is Edinburgh Council’s secret solution to the problem of completing the tram system – just lay enough for one car. Even better, lay two sets of lines and then you can slide the Tram Car back & forth in different directions.

This example is in the popular high street of Las Palmas, Gran Canaria.

This is the latest aerial design specifically for Scottish digital reception, featuring the ‘ice muffler’ which enhances the digital signal.

With this aerial there is no need for a freeview box, just point it to your nearest transmitter. Presently only available in white. Not suitable for summer reception.

Only Joking! This is the aerial on the house next door, and thankfully Gordon only needs it if the cable connection goes down. It would be interesting to see if he can get a reception – do radio waves pass through ice several centimeters thick? This was taken on Wednesday of this week and even after a slight thaw yesterday, it’s still encasing the metalwork.

Sitting waiting for people to arrive, I look right to see a small dog approach from the horse yard. Next, I  look left and the little devil is sitting next to me, looking at where I’m looking, up the hill. I get out my phone and the ‘bitch’ has decided to rest her paws on my legs to see what I’m doing. I put my phone away and ‘Myra’ – cause I looked at her dog tags, decides now it’s time to get comfy and paws herself down onto my lap.

My contact arrived and walked past me because he saw a guy with a dog on his lap … thinks he can’t be the photographer, and carries on and only stops when I shout his name.

So if you want to blend in, get a dog.

I don’t mind them being interested but when they start to use their heads to push you backwards and no amount of shouting, even very loudly, doesn’t make a slight bit of difference. Thankfully, there were rocks behind us to clamber up – cows don’t climb. And also we were saved by a bunch of noisy kids who were going down to the beach. Our ninja cows turned as a group and headed after them. We escaped by running for the steep cliff slopes.

Why Ninja Cows? Cause they do creep up on you and then use all four legs to jump and buck and turn in the air. Quite clever actually!

Alfredo was like a child in a candy shop. He had arrived at his all time favourite castle and the sun was out, the sky was blue and it wasn’t raining. He was in heaven. All he had to do was get all of the castle into his Canon camera!

Meanwhile, the other tourists were doing the same … in their droves. Some even paying the fee to get in the gate and over the bridge to the island itself. Not our brave Italian hero. He just walked past the dozing attendant and got his shot in the can (well did apologise on the way back through).

This image was taken on good old fashioned film, 35mm Ilford and developed and printed by my own skilled hands. It was taken in 1982 using a Pentax MX with just a straightforward 50mm lens, and no filters or other nonsense. All I’ve done to the print is use a very extinct paper called Agfa Record Rapid – a fibre paper which took ages to develop and even longer to wash and dry.

Back in the Eighties there were more street artists on the Mound, the High Street etc – anywhere you were able to draw a crowd to watch you perform. Eddie Izzard was still a nae’bdy then and could be found in all weird places doing his thing.

Those that could would have hundreds of tourists and even locals like myself watching their every move; that is, until the hat was passed around for ‘donations’ as this is how these guys made a living.

I always felt sorry for the ‘chalk artists’ as not only did people walk over their work once it was gone, but they were always fighting against the Scottish elements, peeing dogs and pigeon poop.

Some were canny enough to cover their work with plastic sheets, which allowed them to continue the work the later or the next day. That is, if the council street cleaners hadn’t done the dirty deed and removed all evidence of their handiwork.

Now this doesn’t seem fair at all! The park has everything a kid wants – swings goalposts, grass and lots of space. So why can’t it be used on a Sunday? Because that’s the day is called the Sabbath in this neck of the woods and you’re not meant to enjoy yourself.

They’ve only just allowed you to get here on a Sunday, as up to six months ago you had to swim across or land by parachute. But that would be enjoying yourself too so I’m sure you would have been met by a welcoming party from the Kirk Elders.